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Joke of the Day

"Rene Descartes walks into a bar The bar tender asks him if he wants a drink, he says ""I think not."" He then disappears."

"At first, I wanted nothing to do with this election... ...but now I've got a Bone to pick."

"When I'm really bored at work I like to write ""I'm watching you"" on the toilet paper a few squares in just to mess with people."

"How do you communicate with a fish? You drop it a line!"

"HOW MANY LAWYER JOKES ARE THERE? Q. How many lawyer jokes are there? A. Three...the rest are all true."

"What's the definition of black foreplay? Don't scream or I'll kill you."

"I saw Tom Hanks today so I asked him for his autograph. He just wrote Thanks."

"No, I said I wanted to BING you on my kitchen counter. You know, the popular search engine?"

"Tell someone you love them today, because life is short. But shout it at them in German, because life is also terrifying and confusing."

"I'm not saying she's a whore... But if you threw her out a window she'd be deep penetrated[.](http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Defenestration)"