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Joke of the Day

"How many Happy Meals do you need to eat before they start to work? I've just had six and I feel terrible."

"""Say no to Lindsay Lohan"" - Drugs"

"How did Barack propose to Michelle? He got down on one knee and said: ""I don't want to be obamaself"""

"I always said I'd never chase after a man, but the older I get, I seriously consider power-walking after one."

"Hubby: As a start I think you should learn to ""iron"" then we could do without the ironing lady. Blonde Wife: Well if you would learn to fuck me properly we could do without the gardener."

"TOASTER OVEN: Do you really need another Hot Pocket? ME: You shut your mouth TO: If I shut my mouth will you stop putting Hot Pockets in it"

"What is Donald Trump's favorite river? Denial."

"Why did the man put condoms on his ears during sex? He didn't want to get hearing aids."

"Note to self Don't buy one."

"My boss said to me. ""You're the worst train driver. How many have you derailed this year?"" I said "" im not sure, its hard to keep track"""