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Joke of the Day

"What is the difference between a gay mans mustache and a straight mans mustache? Andwer: the smell."

"*puts spider in the ocean* ""Now go free and flourish into an octopus."" *cuts girl in half & puts in ocean* ""Mermaid probably."""

"What's the difference between a race car and a woman? One costs a lot of money to maintain, keep running, and give you the results you want. The other has four wheels."

"So according to this BMI chart... I am too short."

"If you really want to stick it to somebody... Use tape."

"Why does Dracula always travel with his coffin? Because his life is at stake."

"What do you call a guy with no arms and no legs? Matt. No arms and no legs in a swimming pool? Bob."

"In the movie 'The Hunt for Red October' ... the entire story is the sub-plot."

"Police in Mississippi shoot a man :( He had accidentally set himself ablaze, and police opened fire because he was waving fire arms in the air :)"

"SCIENTIST: it's both man and machine ME: what's it called? S: I call it a cyborg M: I would have went with manchine S: *crushes test tube*"