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Joke of the Day

"If you thought black people were mad about the Oscars... wait until the nominations come out for the World's Greatest Dad Award."

"I believe in God and have a sense of humor about it. But when you insist that makes me an idiot, you sound as tolerant as Mel Gibson."

"My father told me that I should condition more and shampoo less I told him to stop getting in the shower with me"

"If Hillary Clinton stripped off her pant suit, what would you see? Depends."

"When buying baked goods I always ask myself, ""are you prepared to eat this in the parking lot?"""

"I've done some pretty stupid things while I've been drunk, but in alcohol's defense, I've done a lot of pretty stupid things sober, too."

"What is Saddam Hussein's favorite band? My Chemical Romance"

"On $15 I could travel the world.. of Warcraft"

"As a Harry Potter fan, I dream of going to Hogwarts. My friend is a Narnia fan, and he's always wanted to go to Narnia. My other friend is a Hunger Games fan, but he's good."

"Overheard 2 dad's at the playground wondering if my kid was as creepy as me. Joke's on them. I don't have kids."