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Joke of the Day

"[Restaurant] ""Good evening sir, would you like to hear the specials?"" Yes please ""THIS TOWN (AHH AHHH) IS COMIN LIKE A GHOST TOWN"""

"Where do fish come from? Finland!"

"Me: That tree is impeckable ""Don't you mean impeccable?"" *cut to woodpecker with a broken beak* Me: No. Also how did you pick up on that?"

"Why was Hitler better than Jesus (offensive)? Belated Hitler birthday joke! Jesus may have fed 5,000 people with a few loaves of bread and fish, but Hitler made 6 million Jews toast."

"Fun fact: Snakes don't exist. They were made up by scientists in 1923 as a joke that went too far so they just kinda rolled with it"

"I used to own a nocturnal horse... She was a nightmare."

"I am waiting for the day we have a national scandal involving a gate"

"Infomercials that present themselves as ""special"" news reports - Who exactly are these fooling?"

"The Conjuring 3: Evil spirits torment another single mom & her kids. The kids torment them back. They're better at it. The spirits flee."

"I like my women how I like my coffee. Big tits."