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Joke of the Day

"What is the difference Between a santa and a jew? Santa enters the chimney and jew leaves the chimney."

"Using the toilet on the airplane means I'm certified to teach yoga now."

"What's an Irish seven course meal? A six pack and a potato"

"I got drunk with my dad once and I asked him if his boner curved to the left too, he replied ""No, you got that from your mother"". :("

"9: Daddy, what starts with F and ends in UCK? my face: *look of horror* 9: firetruck! What else? me: nervous laugh *pours another drink*"

"HairLine Joke Your hair line goes Way back Like the 50's"

"[getting a haircut] BARBER: anything else? ME: cut me BARBER: what? no ME: like sweeney todd BARBER: i'm no- ME:make me into a pie"

"I love cliffhangers ..."

"me: mom i like this person from twitter mom: TWITTER IS LIKE CRAIGSLIST YOU THINK YOURE BUYING USED BOWLING SHOES AND YOU WIND UP DEAD"

"What's better than a vase of roses on your piano? Tulips on your organ."