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Joke of the Day

"What do you call a bunch of black people in a pile of leaves? Raisin Bran"

"Why did the plane crash? Because the pilot was a loaf of bread! Now he's toast"

"Why did the midget get kicked out of the nudist colony? He kept getting in everyone's hair."

"At school we were always taught the pull-out method doesn't work... ...but like many teenagers, it hasn't stopped the UK trying anyway."

"My wife and I have lost 150 lbs combined!!! The search team are taking longer than expected to get her body back from the river though."

"ME: I wasn't invited to the party FRIEND: Yeah, people think you're melodramatic ME: [slaps friend with silk glove] Then I shall die alone"

"There were two muffins in an oven... One muffin said to the other, ""Boy, it's sure hot in here!"" The other muffin screamed ""AHHHH!!! A talking muffin!!!!!!!"""

"I've decided my tweets sound better when I say them so instead of tweeting I'm just gonna call all of you when I think of stuff."

"90% of the internet is people who don't know anything having their questions answered by people who don't know anything."

"Coworker came back into the office after being out sick for one day. Me: Feeling better? Him: Yea, I had a bad case of Ass Glaucoma. Me: What? Him: Yea! I couldn't see my ass being drug to work!"