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Joke of the Day

"My dumb friend told me the 'pull my finger' joke ends w you farting, NOT shitting your pants. He's wrong, right? RIGHT???"

"I lost 12 pounds in a week. Good thing I'm not a big investor."

"Sorry if you don't like my Honesty. But to be fair I don't like your f*cking Lies"

"What did the baby corn say to the mommy corn? Wheres pop corn?"

"My therapist says I have a preoccupation with vengeance. We'll see about that."

"What did the sushi say to the bee? WASABI. Ah, best lame joke ever."

"Are your pants from outer space or is your butt just out of this world?"

"A man is about to jump off a building. A physicist tells him ""Don't jump! You have so much potential!"""

"A white American told me I shouldn't call myself ""British"" because brown people aren't native to Britain. A white American White. American."

"What's the only thing a feminist is going to change? The Laundry"