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Joke of the Day

"What did God say when he made the first black man? ""Damn, I burnt one."""

"[in bed] her: u have done this before, right? me: yes, of course. measure twice, cut once her: what? me: what?"

"Why wouldn't you ever see a pachyderm on a civil warship? Because an elephant never frigates. aaahhhthankyou"

"Whatever you do, always give 100%. Unless you're donating blood."

"What's black and white, and red all over. And cant fit through a revolving door? A nun with a javelin through her."

"When a couple asks me for directions,I know that the wife is forcing the guy to ask.That's why I give them wrong ones to teach her a lesson."

"I hate when people put the beginning of the joke a second time"

"What do you call a slutty housewife? A dirty dishwasher."

"My wife says ""Don't walk away when I'm talking to you"" when 1. she's not talking, she's yelling, and 2. I'm not walking away, I'm retreating"

"You all need to stop worrying about Trump becoming the next president... There's no way he's moving into a smaller house in a black neighborhood!"