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Joke of the Day

"What do you call a pony with a sore throat? A hoarse horse."

"Homosexuality is found in over 450 species. Homophobia is only found in two. Help us get rid of the Ecuadorian fag-hating spider :("

"I hate how you're just born out of nowhere, forced to go to school and get an education so you can get a job. What if I wanted to be a duck."

"*leans back in chair* wow, what a great question. I guess I'd say my biggest weakness is the 5 felony convictions I left off my application"

"If Shrek can find love, so can you."

"Just saw a billboard: $586.25 Complete cremation. 1) Is there partial cremation? 2) What's the 25cents for?"

"A Mexican magician tells the audience he is going to disappear on the count of 3. He says ""uno, dos..."" and POOF! He disappeared without a tres."

"What doesn't kill me makes me smaller - Mario"

"I sneezed while pissing and almost pissed everywhere I think I have PEE-T-S-D now :( That was scary"

"Q: Two men drive into a car wash. Which one is the Irishman? A: The one on the motorbike."