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Joke of the Day

"There was an orgy at the camp site last night... ... it was fucking in tents. I'll show myself out..."

"How was I supposed to know unleashing 342 cats in a club would turn to bone-chilling horror the instant the disco balls started up?"

"I'm not fat. I'm just easy to see"

"Statistics say that the typical man has sex 92 times a year... I feel that December will be amazing"

"How do you save a Republican from drowning? Take your foot off of their head."

"My vegan friend asked me if I've met his new girlfriend I said I've never seen herbivore"

"the most semi-awesome vegetable is the rad-ish"

"Which sex position gives birth to the mostly ugly children? Ask your mom"

"Hitler was a charitable guy. He backed Japan when they needed help in WW2."

"A builder came up to me. He said, ""Do you know how to make a fruit stand?"" ""Yes,"" I said. ""You just have to balance it on a flat surface."""