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Joke of the Day

"A scientist drops a pig and a flashlight from a 20 storey building He watches as both hit the ground at the same time. With this he concluded pigs move at the speed of light."

"It's mean to give a homeless person money for food without giving him money for a phone too... How do you expect him to Instargram the food?"

"Royal Canadian Mounted Police (""Mountie"") joke Did you hear about the near-sighted Mountie?...He tied his whistle to a tree and blew his horse."

"Humpty Dumpty , that sly bastard Humpty Dumpty sat on his bed, As Little Bo Beep was giving him head, Just as he came she began to weep, She could tell by the taste, He'd been screwing her sheep ! !"

"If Trump deports all the Mexicans Who's going to build the wall?"

"My grandmothers astrological sign was Cancer. Ironic, how she died. Crushed to death by a giant crab."

"I was having trouble understanding the importance of the computer mouse... And then it clicked."

"I never knew I was allergic to iron... Because after hitting the weights I get swollen."

"How many walruses does it take to make a sandwich? Don't be silly, walruses don't make sandwiches; women make sandwiches. Made this up to bug my sister. It worked. Her husband laughed."

"A man walks into an elevator and looks at the woman standing inside. He says, ""Can I smell your feet?"" She responds, ""Ew no"" ""Must be your pussy then."""