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Joke of the Day
"If she high-five you after sex...marry her on the spot."
Next Joke
"North Carolina just legalized same sex marriage. I thought all sex was the same after marriage."
"I have seen my first naked lady Sorry, I meant... I have seen my First Lady naked."
"Meet Brian, my monkey butler. He's gonna help out around the office. *Monkey flinging office equipment out the window* Brian hates clutter."
"Want to hear something really fun about science? You would. Nerd."
"What do you get when you cross a bear and a spider? A six-legged, honey-lovin', web-spinnin' **freak!**"
"In retrospect, dressing as a killer whale when I was assigned to assassinate the Pope wasn't my best idea. I blame Ubisoft, honestly."
"2 ""black"" questions that aren't racist. What's black and sits at the top of the stairs? Stephen Hawking in a house fire. What's black and screaming? Stevie Wonder answering the iron."
"If the universe were not absurd, would it make sense? squid"
"Why did the man put his car in the oven? Because he wanted a hot rod."