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Joke of the Day

"Q: Why don't women wear dresses in the winter? A: They could get chapped lips!"

"Monday is an awful way to spend 1/7th of your life."

"A candle is my girlfriend... She is very hot"

"My penis was in the Guinness Book of World Records.... When the librarian saw me, she called the police."

"What is the difference between a Garbanzo Bean and a Chickpea? I wouldn't pay $10 to watch a garbanzo bean."

"What size lumber is used to build homes in Dubai? Dubai fours"

"Joined our neighborhood watch program. There's 30 of us though so I only get to wear it like 1 day a month. :("

"hey honey... ... you remember that really posh restaurant we ate at? 'sure... i guess so' ... what about that one time i undercooked the chicken? 'YES. EVERY DETAIL'."

"if carrots could get you drunk.... rabbits would be fucked up."

"My girlfriend is the square root of -100 Perfect 10, but imaginary"