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Joke of the Day

"Language is cool because it's just a bunch of sounds, but put them in the right order & you can make someone cry or you can order tacos."

"Why doesn't San Antonio have a pro football team? Because then Dallas would want one too."

"My hus thinks I'm getting up early tomorrow to go to the gym to get all sweaty. But what he doesn't know is that my ""gym"" is spelled ""Jim."""

"I didn't get the joke about the hot air balloon. I think it was over my head."

"My 4-year-old is playing doctor with her baby dolls. She walked by a minute ago holding just a leg. Surgery didn't go well."

"My son, you were thrown out of school today for letting a girl jerk you off. Son, that's three schools this year... Maybe teaching isn't for you."

"So two astronauts walk into a club on the moon... One says to the other, ""Let's bounce, this place has no atmosphere"""

"______________________ I'm drawing a blank here."

"Why is everyone mad at Kim Davis? Nobody in the government does their job."

"This years Olympics in Rio is going to be one of the most steady and relaxing Games in history No one will be Russian."