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Joke of the Day

"What do you call explosive cow vomit? A cud missle!"

"I want to die in my sleep like my grandfather... Not screaming and yelling like the passengers in his car."

"What do you call a black dinosaur? Tyroneosaurus-Rex."

"What do you get hanging from apple trees? Sore Arms."

"*hears a loud noise outside of bedroom door at night* *wife reaches over* ""Honey- WHERE ARE YOU?"" *already locked myself in the bathroom*"

"Why is it so cold at Christmas? It's in Decembrrrrr."

"Somewhere out there is a guy named Joe whose greatest achievement is that he was a really sloppy eater."

"A scuba diver brings a wetsuit to a dry cleaner..."

"*drops off box to Salvation Army* ""Sir, why is this box marked W I F E?"" *peels out*"

"I have a dream that my son will one day live in a nation where he will not be judged by the size of his boat but by the motion of his ocean."