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Joke of the Day

"5 out of 6 scientists feel Russian Roulette is safe"

"Where is the lift? American: You mean the elevator? English: Yes, we call it a lift. American: It's called an elevator. We invented it. English: And we invented the language."

"Movies taught me that if your kid is talking to ghosts, alone in their room, leave that brat in there, and run while you're still alive."

"Why was the little boy unhappy? Because he had a frog stapled to his face"

"If I was a candle... ...and somebody dumped a bucket of water on me, I'd be quite put out."

"No, LinkedIn. I would not like to link my Twitter account but thank you for trying to get me unemployed for life."

"I belched chickpeas in front of the Queen... She gave me a post-houmous pardon."

"I asked a grape about parenthood But it didn't know much about baby raisin."

"I can't decide if I should get a new mattress or not. I should probably sleep on it."

"Knock Knock Who's there ! Aladdin ! Aladdin who ? Aladdin the street wants a word with you !"