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Joke of the Day

"Why was the little boy unhappy? Because he had a frog stapled to his face"

"I'm weird but not ""sit around the house with my shirt tucked in even though I've got no plans to leave"" weird. That stuff's 4 serial killers."

"My wife said, compared to a lot of girls out here, that I'm lucky to have her. I said ""Yeah? Maybe, but I'll do my own research thank you""."

"What did Alyssa the duck say to Henry the beaver? Quack quack!"

"Life without women would be a pain in the ass!"

"Did you hear about the restaurant on Mars?? Great food, horrible atmosphere."

"A man asked his wife what she wanted for Valentine's Day: Wife: ""A divorce."" Husband: ""I really wasn't planning on spending that much."""

"Did you hear about the new sprinklers from Australia? They're Aussielating."

"""A smile is like tight underwear...it makes your cheeks go up."

"All units be on the lookout, suspect is armed with hunky shoulders, soft eyes and dreamboat hair. I don't even remember what he did anymore."