130575

Joke of the Day

"I'm 94% sure I'm going to die in a running in flip flops incident."

"I dreamt about a horse last night. It turned out to be a night mare."

"My wife thinks our sex life has got boring and I'm easily distracted... Oh well, better get back to it I suppose."

"I would have loved to have been there when Mary and Joseph tried to explain to Jesus where babies come from."

"In hindsight, I made two key mistakes on this family vacation: 1) Going on vacation 2) Taking my family"

"What do you get if you cross a snake and a pig ? A boar constrictor !"

"There was a kidnapping at my school today Don't worry he woke up though (Sorry if this joke has been said, a certain subsitute in my school just says these random jokes)"

"What do you call a cassette single of The Proclaimers' hit ""I'm Gonna Be (500 Miles)""? Scotch tape."

"Acid rain is total bullshit. I stood in it for hours and didn't even hallucinate one time."

"I used to be addicted to the Hokey Pokey But then I turned myself around"