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Joke of the Day

"Most tough men eat nails for breakfast. chuck Norris does all of his grocery shopping at Home Depot."

"How did the barber win the race? He knew a **short cut!** ^I'm ^sorry"

"A joke from my grandfather who is a Indian man in the United States. Him: ""Muslims are going to vote for trump"" Me: ""Really?"" Him: ""Yeah. They want him to stop their parents from visiting constantly"""

"""I think you'll like her. She's smart, funny, and a libra"" I've never met a libra *is super disappointed when date isn't a lion zebra mix*"

"""As a student the most comforting words you'll ever hear are "" I haven't started either"""

"Why did the cows return to the marijuana field? It was a case of the pot calling the cattle back."

"How do you get a blonde on your roof? Tell her drinks are on the house."

"What do you call a cow that had an abortion.... Decalfeinated. Thank you, I'll show myself out now."

"Quick: how do you un-shake a baby?"

"What do Iron Man's giggles sound like when he's sucking on a helium balloon? He fe he fe he fe."