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Joke of the Day
"Why did the cows return to the marijuana field? It was a case of the pot calling the cattle back."
Next Joke
"What separates man from animals? According to Donald Trump, the wall he is going to build."
"Just realized I've never ""axed"" anyone a question in my whole life."
"*Sees girl trying to reach soup on top shelf* ""Here let me get that"" I say [Beacuse I'm much taller] *I put the soup in my cart & walk away*"
"What do you call a short Mexican? A paragraph"
"You guys! I just realized I've been holding my moral compass upside down this whole time."
"I'm crap at telling jokes. I keep on punching up the fuck lines."
"Disliking the social justice crowd is to hating social justice as disliking the song ""We Are the World"" is to hating starving children."
"WHY DID HITLER COMMIT SUICIDE? Why did Hitler commit suicide? Because he saw his gas bill."
"I'm so horrified right now. I'm on the treadmill reading about the bombings in Syria. And my T-shirt's on backwards!"