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Joke of the Day

"We should give the Nobel Peace Prize to the person who figures out how to clap while holding a drink at a concert."

"[interview] BOSS: Any special skills? ME: Skills? BOSS: Like strengths ME: Oh right. I'd say my vocabulary BOSS: Hm... ME: That means words"

"Now imagine how close together the presidents' bodies are, under their Mount Rushmore heads."

"WHY DO WE ALLOW OTHER COUNTRIES TO TAG THEIR NAME ON TO SOMETHING AND SELL US LIES WHEN THEY DO IT WRONG? CANADIAN BACON? ENGLISH MUFFINS?"

"Knock! Knock....."

"I had a one night stand with a girl who was missing a limb Afterwards she wasn't too happy with me, we got off on the wrong foot."

"If websites were athletes, Reddit would be a fencer. Obsessed with points and always reposting."

"It's weird to me that the shortened version of Charles is ""Chuck"". I mean, what the Farles is that about?"

"The local barber was arrested for selling drugs I think it's completely insane! I've been his customer for years and I had no clue he was a barber."

"What is wrong with me?!? Asking for a friend.."