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Joke of the Day
"I always wanted a trophy wife, But instead I got a participation medal girlfriend."
Next Joke
"My goal in life is to get my face on a coin. That way I can be the change I wish to see in the world."
"What did the grape say when it got stepped on? Nothing - but it let out a little whine."
"What is the difference between a Chicken and a Prostitute? The Chicken says ""Cockadoodaldoo"" The Prostitute says ""Any COCK will do"""
"I heard there was a bombing in Times Square. But it was just Mariah."
"*Dies and goes toward the light* Light: ""I have a boyfriend"""
"Proud to announce that I'm still the undefeated champion at racing with drivers who don't know we're racing."
"""Hello from the outsiiiiide. I must have called a thousand tiiiiimes"" - me, drunk, leaving my wife another voicemail because I'm locked out"
"As Newton once said, ""For every male action, there is a female over-reaction""."
"What do you call group of mentally handicapped kids at a performance of ""Peter Pan""? Slow Children At Play"