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Joke of the Day

"People don't realize that Ikea catalogs are also a book of baby names. Anyway, I'm late to take FLARDFULL and ODMJUK on their play date."

"What did the Muslim on a surfboard say? Aloha Akbar!"

"MOSES: Cool thinkpiece GOD: It's a list of commandments. Not everything is a thinkpiece! Jesus Christ MOSES: Who? GOD: Oops, sorry. Spoilers"

"What's the difference between an Iraqi middle school and a terrorist training camp? Fuck if I know, I just fly the drone."

"I tried to buy a Christmas tree to put in my shed. I couldn't find one anywhere. They were all non - shed."

"Say the best joke you have ever heard or made up."

"If Crunch Berries aren't considered fresh fruit I don't think this diet is going to work out."

"Why couldn't the Jedi open the door? He didn't use enough force..."

"""The princess dies. And then the people trying to save her die. Dragon guarding the castle? Dead"" - Bedtime at George R.R. Martin's house"

"Just got fired from my job at the chip shop for sticking my dick in the potato peeler And she got fired too!"