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Joke of the Day

"[feeding baby Malaysian food] ""Here comes the plane"" *makes plane noises* *spoon just disappears*"

"Why don't computers have any brothers? They are all trans-sisters."

"You do not count as a person if it's 75 degrees & you're wearing a wool beanie."

"How did the babysitter lose 500 kids and keep her job? She swallowed"

"Why did the plane crash? The pilot was a loaf of bread."

"Many of my tumblr friends identify as otherkin. Be it wolfkin, eaglekin or yes even fantasykin. I myself identify as a jedi. So I'm forcekin."

"There is nothing wrong with sex before marriage... ... as long as it doesn't delay the wedding."

"Whats the difference between a white owl and black owl? A white owl goes : Who? Who? A black owl goes : Who dat? who dat?"

"I was going down in a girl and said ""you've got a massive vagina vagina"" She said ""you didn't have to say it twice"" I said "" I didn't didn't"""

"What do burnt pizza, frozen beer and a pregnant chick have in common? Some douchebag forgot to pull it out in time."