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Joke of the Day

"During movies when characters go underwater, I hold my breath and see if I could've survived that situation... I almost died in _Finding Nemo_"

"I saw a fight between two Mobius strips It was a little one sided (One of them had a Klein bottle)"

"I don't understand why I keep getting denied for bank loans because I have good credit & I'm only asking to borrow like four or five banks."

"A horse walks into a police station Policeman says ""Why the long face?"" Horse replies ""I've just witnessed a murder"" [True story](http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-england-merseyside-29550834)"

"Ugh your paleontologist friend is coming? He's so boring! Don't worry, I have a plan to keep him distracted *pulls out seven layer dip*"

"I happily dad joked my fiance While on her way to work, she texted me saying she only put deodorant on one side. To which I replied, ""At least you won't smell half bad!"""

"Question about The Catcher in the Rye In chapter 5, I didn't understand why the bus driver made Caulfield get rid of his snowball. He was just...Holden it."

"What is the pinnacle of laziness? Having a remote control for your remote control."

"""Metric system? You mean the easy measurement system based upon multiples of 10, that every other country uses? Na. We're good."" - America"

"Did you hear the one about the woman who couldn't handle a 9 inch dick? She had a metric pussy."