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Joke of the Day

"The past, the present, and the future all walked into one bar. It was quite tense."

Next Joke
 
"I had sex with Obama last night... And I'd just like to say, let's dispel with this fiction that Barack Obama doesn't know what he's doing. He knows exactly what he's doing!"
"What's a porn stars favorite drink? 7up in cider"
"What's it called when a cow attempts to jump a barbed-wire fence? An udder disaster"
"*Prosecution points to badger*: Objection! This animal has no place in court! Defense: Your honor, the badger is prosecuting the witness"
"Why did the guy take his time setting up a premature ejaculation support group? He didn't want to go off half cocked."
"A man's falling from the 50th floor of a skyscraper. When he gets to the 15th floor, he looks down and says, ""So far so good."""
"My 6-year-old walked into the room and said, ""Don't worry, Dad. I'm OK."" Time to search the house for whatever she destroyed."
"No clean Tupperware today, so I brought my yogurt to work tied up in a condom. No longer allowed to use the employee fridge."
"50% of a woman's magazine is telling you to accept yourself - you're beautiful just the way you are! The other 50% is telling you how to lose 5 lbs in a week."