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Joke of the Day

"When I was interviewed for a job in the chemistry department, they asked me if I had lab experience. I said I was more of a cat person."

"Why did the Carpenters wife leave him? Because he was screwing around."

"Why does Minnie Mouse wear heels? She is the only female mouse Mickey knows. Pressure's off, girl. Your boyfriend doesn't even have a shirt."

"[Racist] Why did Beyonce say ""To the left, to the left"" in her music video? Because niggers don't have rights."

"Saw a sign on the highway that said ""Kill or Injure a Road Worker: $7,500"" but it doesn't tell me where to pick up the money..."

"Fun prank: Super glue a baby to the floor and see how many people try to pick it up as they walk by"

"Chuck Norris got a perfect score on his SAT's, simply by writing Chuck Norris for every answer."

"Did you know there are only two Lawyer jokes? The rest are all true."

"I only use shampoo that smells like raspberries so people don't think it's weird when I have jam in my hair."

"Did you hear about the guy who eating crackers in bed? He felt crumby the next day."