129935

Joke of the Day

"They're predicting record highs for Wednesday. In other news the weather will be hotter than usual."

"Do you want to hear a joke about steak? Never mind, I'll tell you later. But it's very well done."

"I asked my English friend what his favourite summer accessory is. He said, ""Clouds."""

"[Offensive] I like my wine the way I like my Women... Nine years old and in the cellar."

"What has a bottom at its top? A leg."

"Why did the anthropologist eat a lot of yogurt? So that he could understand culture."

"To the additional pot that was on the stove after I thought I was done washing the dishes, I hate your stinkin' guts."

"What do you call security guards working outside Samsung shops? Guardians of the Galaxy"

"When auto correct changes your 'omg' to OMG, alright calm your tits i wasn't that shocked."

"Why is the Statue of Liberty hollow? Because she's really French, and the French have no GUTS!"