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Joke of the Day

"I just saw a pizza delivery guy get in a terrible accident. I feel so bad. Someone's just sitting around, wondering where their pizza is."

"Bilbo Baggins walks into a strip club and sees his cousin making it rain on a stripper. Unimpressed by this, he proceeds to shout... ...""Don't Fro Doh""."

"Today I ended a long term relationship. I don't really care though, it wasn't mine."

"What's common between a crying baby and a gun? You must not bring either to the movies."

"Don't you hate when someone without kids tells you how to parent? I think I know how much alcohol my kids can handle."

"I just fell through the roof of a French bakery I'm in a world of pain."

"I can see smoke on the horizon. God I hope it's rest of Monday burning to the ground"

"Beauty is only skin deep ... but ugly goes all the way to the bone!"

"I'm going to start a charity for the clinically insane. Gonna call it ""Fundamental"""

"Hey guys, Racism is a crime But crime is only for black people"