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Joke of the Day

"Life is like a hardcore drug. I've taken several."

"Yes, it might be the wrong word but at least it is spelled correctly - autocorrect"

"Steven Gerrard obviously believes his best chance of winning the Premier League is to join the MLS and then hope that Man City try to sign him."

"What does a gift and a black man have in common? White children get immense joy after tearing one open"

"I caught my kid jacking off the other day I told him if he kept it up he'd go blind. He said, ""dad, I'm over here"""

"Doctor how can I cure my sleep walking? Sprinkle tin-tacks on your bedroom floor!"

"What did the kid with no hands get for christmas? gloves! just kidding, he hasn't opened it yet..."

"This woman at the bar said ""move, you're blocking the door"" & I'm like strange pickup line but sure here's my number."

"I found the cure to obesity, but then I ate it."

"Why do electricians wear pants? Because they hate shorts."