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Joke of the Day

"The church on Elm street is hosting a prayer meeting for people with low self esteem. Please use the back entrance."

"Why did Vladimir fall off his bike? He was rushin"

"The reality is that a lot of girls out there just aren't prepared for a nice, decent guy."

"9 out of 10 men like girls with big boobs and the 10th guy likes the other 9 guys."

"What did the boy octopus say to the girl octopus? Can I hold your hand, hand, hand, hand, hand, hand, hand, hand, hand, hand?"

"My grandparents were vaporised in a freak accident They will be mist... :'("

"An awkward morning beats a boring night."

"How many black Oscar nominees would it take (compared to white nominees) to satisfy the boycotters? Three-fifths as many seems like a generous offer."

"This kid in target fell on the ground screaming bc his mom wouldn't buy him candy & now she's yelling for us both to get up and be quiet."

"A woman, a murderer, a liar, a thief, and a cuckold walk into a bar The bartender asks: ""What will it be, Mrs. Clinton?"""