129771

Joke of the Day

"I will never forget the last thing my grandma said to me right before she died on her death bed in the hospital? Dont pull tha......."

"Why do jews have big noses? Because air is free."

"Scots vs English Why do Scotsman wear kilts? Cause sheep can hear a zipper at 50 yards. Why do the English wear trousers? Cause goats are deaf."

"Though he came from a long line of spoons, Sammy Spork always noticed a slight resemblance to Mom's friend Frank, the fork living next door."

"Still good at casually flexing my bicep the second before a girl touches it."

"Sorry I didn't text you back, but my phone recognized your number."

"Autocorrect: Can't live with it, can't live meow it."

"Superman: I hate your Bat Cave! I can't get cell service Batman: Your carrier sucks Superman: Oh yeah, who do you use? Batman: Bat Mobile"

"Where can you find a mormon horse? Salt Lick City."

"What's the difference between Bill Clinton and Hillary Clinton? Bill got fucked in the oval office and Hillary just got fucked out of it."