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Joke of the Day

"I wanted to build a camp for kids with ADD. But I got shut down for calling it a concentration camp."

"I'm 70% water and 40% bad at math."

"Catch a baby opossum, give it a 12-hr sedative, and hide it in the glove compartment of the car of the person who's dating your ex."

"Question: What's the difference between dating a redhead and putting your hand in a blender? Answer: There's always a 50/50 chance the blender isn't on"

"I kept pulling the string from my Christmas hat and now its half the size Oops, wrong thread"

"I met an exercising nun. She was a firm believer."

"""You make as much sense as taking a blind man to a silent movie!"""

"Why is Mexico's flag green, white, and red? Guacamole, sour cream, and salsa."

"Did you hear about Joan Rivers? When they died, they realized she was an organ donor. They used the plastic to make toys for the orphan children."

"You guys have no idea how much pressure there is to be funny, for free, with absolutely no obligation, on the Internet all the damn time."