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Joke of the Day

"I wanted to build a camp for kids with ADD. But I got shut down for calling it a concentration camp."

"Why did Michael Jackson invent the Moonwalk? It was a great way to get out of kids' bedrooms unheard."

"Worst joke I could think of. A man walks into a bar, it hurt. Watch where the fuck you're going."

"When I say, ""No problem,"" I mean, ""YOU REMEMBER THIS FAVOR FOREVER."""

"Would you like to make me wine? Join everyone stomping my grapes."

"They say travel broadens the mind... Except for Americans, where it just seems to widen the arse (Jimmy Carr)"

"My wife likes to talk to me after sex. It really bugs me when she calls me from her hotel room."

"I just killed a man and his death is everywhere! (Ate a piece of toast and made some crumbs, dramatized for your entertainment *bow*)"

"Top 3 situations that require witnesses: 1) Crimes 2) Accidents 3) Marriages Need I say more?"

"Spaghetti, because you didn't like that shirt anyways"