129625
Joke of the Day
"To my calendar: Your days are numbered."
Next Joke
"Whatever happened to that little girl from The Ring, did she grow up to be Kristen Stewart?"
"I'm just a girl sitting here wondering which outfit I own goes best with bad decisions..."
"Me: Don't be mean to my friend. Her: Your friend just broke in my door and almost strangled me. Me: I said he was my friend, not yours."
"I wish I had a dolphin tail so I could live with the sharks I'd be a beautiful mermaid girl in deep blue ocean"
"I drink every time I tell a bad joke. Hey, it's worth a shot."
"A police officer found two kids walking the streets. One had a battery and the other had a firecracker. He charged one and let the other one off"
"If you read the instructions carefully, the first step to making any microwavable lunch is to throw away the box and dig it out of the trash"
"My husband grew a beard and suddenly I'm having to karate chop every woman we pass."
"Did you hear about the new Jewish Sports Car? It stops on a dime then picks it up."