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Joke of the Day

"Why the turnout at Michael Jackson's funeral? He touched a lot of people."

"Yelling ""shotgun"" when getting in a car means a seat in the front. Yelling it before getting on a plane means a seat in the TSA office."

"Double cheeseburgers don't make you fat, eating them does."

"Why do Russian police officers always work in groups of three? One of them can read, and one of them can write. The third one is there to keep an eye on the two intellectuals."

"I was awakened with a blowjob today I need to start sleeping with my mouth closed."

"Just seen a midget struggling carrying a TV to his car. I said "" You need a hand with that flat screen mate?"" He said ""Fuck off dickhead, its an ipad"""

"Why are Jews so good in school? They were taught how to concentrate well."

"What did the judge do to the lawyer who insulted him? He got him diss barred."

"My wife and I decided not to have children. The kids are taking it pretty hard."

"Apparently Trump is a neo-Marxist He wants to seize the means of reproduction."