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Joke of the Day

"I swallowed two pieces of string last night and this morning they came out of my ass tied together I shit you knot"

"I like my KitKat like I like my girls: Two at once."

"How do you get a unicorn from neighing in your front yard? Put it in the back yard."

"What bait do you use to catch a space fish? A worm hole"

"Now that Gay Marriage is legal in all states I can finally get married as a solid, liquid, or gas."

"Mike Pence said that his Vice Presidential role model is Vice President Cheney. Huh. Who would've thought that after making so much LGBT discriminatory legislation that Pence loved Dick?"

"How much does the Holocaust?"

"Why do mermaids put their things on top of clams? Because clams are shelf-ish."

"If you tickle a billionaire, will he trickle himself?"

"After he loses, everyone who supported Trump should have to spend a year on an island where he gets to make all the decisions."