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Joke of the Day

"I love when people say to me... Omg! Your so funny on FB. If they only knew about my awesome copy & paste ability..They could be just as funny!"

"My favorite music-related limerick A tutor who taught on the flute, tried to teach two young tooters to toot. Said the two to the tutor, ""Is it harder to toot or, to tutor two tooters to toot?"""

"""you create beauty with your soul and personality! and also with not being fat and with using this make up."" - women's magazines"

"What do blondes and turtles have in common? When they're on their backs, they're screwed."

"If a rooster lays an egg on a triangular roof, which side does it roll down? Neither! Roosters don't lay eggs!"

"Jeb! Jeb Bush: I hereby suspend my presidential campaign with immediate effect. Audience claps Jeb: You guys are assholes!"

"ARE YOU GUYS ALL RIGHT? No, you are all left"

"What do lesbians use to get on top of a building? A scissor lift."

"Guess who I ran into when I went to get my glasses. Everybody"

"Trainer: have you been sticking to your diet? Me: *tries to mumble yes but a chicken wing falls out of my mouth*"