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Joke of the Day

"The first rule of Alzheimer's club Is don't talk about chess club"

"So, Nintendo recently acquired a printing press Word is, they're printing ninten-dough."

"What is the most sensitive part of your body when masturbating? Your ears"

"How did the hipster burn his tongue? He drank coffee before it was cool..."

"Did you hear about the priest that had a Nicotine patch on his dick? (NSFW) He's cut back to two butts a week"

"To be honest you were our third choice for this poisoner job but the other two got poiso... oh that was you, nice"

"Jesus Christ walks into a hotel As he walks in, he hands the inn keeper three nails and asks. ""Can you put me up for the night?"""

"If Memes Were Horses 4chan would give birth to it. Reddit would kill it. 9Gag would hump its dead body. Facebook would dig up its corpse and attempt to turn its remains into Frankenstein."

"How many bottles of beer does it take to kill someone? One, if you throw it hard enough."

"Carl: Everybody was Kung fu fighting! Doug: um, I don't know Kung f-- Carl: except for Doug from accounting"