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Joke of the Day
"The first rule of Alzheimer's club Is don't talk about chess club"
Next Joke
"Why did the mother feed her newborn lamb? Because it's baby food."
"My company has a nicotine like addiction to conference calls."
"*Sees girl trying to reach soup on top shelf* ""Here let me get that"" I say [Beacuse I'm much taller] *I put the soup in my cart & walk away*"
"Looking for a flexible babysitter. My girlfriend only does missionary."
"If I have to pay to use this bathroom, I'm going to lose my shit. Because I'm broke."
"Only 50 more days til we find out who's our next President! Last time I was nauseous 50 days straight, at least I got a baby out of it!"
"""You know what people really want to see? Season after season of a guy drinking his own piss."" - Discovery Channel executive"
"I think I'm a mushroom Everyone keeps me in the dark and feeds me bullshit."
"Why do T Rexes have such bad anger issues? Because their fathers never hugged them."