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Joke of the Day

"Want to hear a joke about sodium? Na."

"How many ants does it take to screw in a light bulb? A light bulb weighs about 50g and a single ant can lift about .2g, so it takes somewhere around 250 ants working together."

"They say that 1 out of a group of 5 guys is gay.... I'm really hoping it's Jake, because he's *super cute*."

"The guy behind the counter asked me what I wanted on my sub and I said a collar and restraints and now I'm not allowed in Subway."

"I'm just a boy, standing in front of a girl, asking her to help me put a bunch of ducks in my car."

"What Time Did Sean Connery Arrive at Wimbledon? Tennish"

"1 in 3 Americans, weighs as much as the other 2...!!"

"Why did the computer scientist die in the shower? The shampoo bottle put him in an infinite loop."

"Watching my son's soccer game in the cold and rain cuz I'm a good Mom. From my heated car cuz I'm not a total idiot."

"Why did the bee get married? He found his honey!"