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Joke of the Day

"Top 3 screwdrivers: 1. Tool for turning screws 2. Vodka and orange juice 3. Method of Uber payment"

"I have a love hate relationship... Fuck everyone else."

"With the unemployment rate so high, why are people still getting neck tattoos?"

"Weed. Nature's way of saying high"

"Why did the hipster burn his tongue? He drank coffee before it was cool."

"What do you call an agnostic? An athe-ish."

"I overheard my girlfriend on the phone to her bff saying she wants to get engaged on Valentine's Day. I hope she finds someone nice."

"I work at a dealership, this guy there is addicted to brake fluid but he says he can stop at anytime!"

"Ok I have 2 short jokes and a long one. joke joke jooooooooooooooke. I'll show myself out."

"How did the swordsman annoy r/jokes? He feinted. (Sorry)"