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Joke of the Day

"Why did the hipster burn his tongue? He drank coffee before it was cool."

"Why can't a porn star sneak up on anyone? Because everyone sees them coming"

"Two women are at a cafe, sitting quietly"

"Way ahead of you, ""cashless society."""

"How did Helen Keller meet her husband? On a blind date!"

"My Love Life is Like my Ferrari... It's nonexistent"

"Nothing's says I'm guilty of every crime imaginable quite like using your blinker to pull into your driveway..."

"Last night, a cop pulled me over. ""Out of the car!"" he said. Then an Indian, fireman and construction worker appeared. We danced until dawn."

"About Lily Probably a repost but I don't care: Why did Lily fall off the swing? She had no arms. Knock knock. Who's there? Not Lily."

"WIFE: *spells out words so the kids won't know what she is saying* ME: [to the kids] I don't know either."