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Joke of the Day

"Just came up with this one Q:Why do black people despise environmental studies? A:Cause they always get hung up on trees."

"What does Sean Connery do with his quiche? He opensh hish doorsh with them."

"A man in the restroom today almost pissed on my pants from the next urinal over. I yelled at him and he said ""It's alright man. Wouldn't you rather be pissed off than pissed on?"""

"What is the best part about raping a midget? Their arms are too short to hold you back."

"This girl said she wouldn't have sex with me because she was on her period... I'd say her excuse was spotty at best."

"#NewSATQuestions Starbucks messed up Kate's order. Kate's white. How done is she? a.) 100% done b.) 300% done c.) SO done d.) She can't even"

"My fortune cookie says ""You will attain the highest levels of intelligence."" Does anyone know where I can find fedoras for cheap?"

"What's the difference between a Philosophy major and a cashier at KFC? A job application."

"A blond girl turns on the radio and hears that 2 Brazilian men were killed As she starts to cry she asks ""How many is a Brazilian?"""

"Feeling pretty good about myself today so I'm going to go meet up with an ex-girlfriend to bring me back down to normal"