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Joke of the Day

"For sale: baby shoes, never worn. Wrong size. Should have bought from Zappos. (Note: original story reference here - it wasn't Hemingway: http://www.snopes.com/language/literary/babyshoes.asp)"

"The wife just found out I replaced our bed with a trampoline. She hit the roof."

"Why are housing prices in Toronto falling? Because the market got flooded."

"BlackBerry's are great phones to have if you're time traveling to 2005 and don't want people to know you're from the future."

"I feel bad for people without arms... ... They can't rapidly take off their bottoms when they need to take a massive dump."

"The girls that say that all guys want is sex, are usually the ones who have only that to offer."

"definitions of twerk 1. to dance and gyrate in a sexually explicit manner 2. what a native of Brooklyn New York says where he goes in the morning"

"Did you hear about the gay midget? He was a little quiet."

"What did all the boys from the hood call the Pillsbury Dough boy after he got super baked? Cracker."

"What do air and sex have in common? Neither is terribly important until you're not getting any."