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Joke of the Day

"""I liked small butts. I was lying."" - Sir Mix-A-Lot's teary deathbed confession"

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"Chuck Norris needs a monkeywrench and a blowtorch to masturbate."
"I hate it when you're sitting on the bus... ...and the local weirdo gets on and sits next to you. You know the type. The ones that watch you masturbate."
"Wake up your lover by hysterically screaming ""Are you sleeping?!?!"""
"I once walked in on my brother having sex with my girlfriend. Needless to say I deflated her and threw her in the trash."
"""Ma'am, please stow your laptop prior to takeoff."" ""This is my Emotional Support Computer."""
"I like my women like Hawaii... Warm, wet, and Asian."
"Have you heard that joke about pussy? I would tell it, but I don't get it."
"How do you know the economy is only getting worse? On the latest episode of ""Celebrity Apprentice"", Donald Trump fired himself!"
"Sometimes, I'll watch a movie that I watched when I was younger and suddenly realize I had no idea what the heck was going on when I first saw it."