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Joke of the Day
"How did SkyMall go bankrupt? I bought all my wife's birthday presents there before she left me."
Next Joke
"My friend told me he had the body of a Greek god I had to explain that Buddha isn't Greek."
"I chose not to act when a bunch of pinnipeds gatecrashed my outdoor party. I sealed my own fete."
"What do you call Charlie Sheen having sex with his brother? Emilio Incestevez"
"Just saw a spider scurry across the floor. It's too bad; I really liked living here."
"Jewish football What's the worst part about having an all Jewish football team? You have to replace the whole team every time they take a shower"
"Prepping for the first day of work after a long holiday break. Currently watching YouTube videos to re-learn how to put on pants."
"Pro Tip: don't buy cheap duct tape. Your basement guests can chew right through that."
"You know what else has a 2-0 score between the USA and Germany? The world wars"
"Would a cosplay of the Hunchback of Notre Dame be called... ... a quasi-Quasimodo?"