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Joke of the Day

"I just did my budget for August. If I don't buy food ... I won't need toilet paper. I think I'm on to something here."

"What the Washington Fat Cats don't understand is that when they stopped making Doritos 3D we lost an entire dimension of flavor"

"Misery: Hello there! Company: I have a boyfriend..."

"What did the Japanese woman do when the Titanic sank? She raughed (raft)."

"What is love? You just sang ""baby, don't hurt me."" In your mind didn't you?"

"Don't ever let a chiropractor tell u a joke. It'll hit your funny bone."

"[traffic stop] COP: where ya headed? ME: on my way home COP: *shining flashlight in my backseat* ME: look at me when I'm speaking to you"

"Justin Bieber has found Jesus which means that Jesus is really great at a lot of things but hiding is not one of them."

"I name photos of me stroking animals in files called ""Fireworks and big dogs.jpg"" so my cats won't find them on my computer."

"Why do woman have faces? So you know what cunts yours. I have to get a ratio of woman to man down/up votes for this haha.."