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Joke of the Day

"What do you call an average Mexican? Nacho average guy"

"People tell me soup is better with flavor cubes. But I don't put a lot of stock in that. Because of it, though, I was the victim of a lot of boullion."

"good morning class *farts* today we'll *farts* be learning *farts* abou *farts* oh god *farts* call an ambula *farts* it hurts so much *fa"

"I felt sorry for the hypnotist.... I saw last night. He hypnotized 7 guys... then dropped the mic on his foot and yelled ""FUCK ME!"" What happened next will haunt me the for the rest of my life..."

"My youngest is being tested for the gifted program at his elementary school and my other son thinks his toothbrush is haunted."

"Why does it take 1 million sperm to fertilize one egg? They won't stop to ask for directions."

"I hate that fucking composer he is such a son of a bach."

"If your bf/gf tries to start a fight with you just say, ""Please. Not during Toyotathon."""

"Say what you like about pacifists... ..."

"[2 dogs eating dinner] ""u know Sharon, that life insurance policy u found me is great"" [stops chewing] ""why does this taste like chocolate"""