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Joke of the Day

"Christmas is over, all of the guests have gone home. NO PANTS."

"Worst flight I've ever been on. Waited for hours, plane never left the ground.. I'm never flying Airbnb again"

"What do electric trains and women's breasts have in common? They were originally intended for children but it's the men who play with them the most."

"What does it taste like when you eat out an old woman? *shrug* Depends."

"Why did Oscar Pistorius shoot his girlfriend in the bathroom? Because he's one of the few people in World that couldn't kick down the door."

"I think 90% of the software on my computer doesn't do anything except send me notices that there's a new version of itself."

"Women- God's version of a Rubik's cube."

"Her: Well, I know I told you that. Me: *closes eyes* Her: What are you doing? Me: Checking for it in my spam folder."

"I don't have a problem with 5p carrier bags, I have a bag for life, ever since I got married last year. ^^"

"Why did the Chemist give up a singing career? He could not hit any of the ketones."