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Joke of the Day
"France and Italy Go to War. Who Wins? Neither. France Surrenders, and Italy Changes Sides."
Next Joke
"You know you're an ugly c*nt when it comes to a group picture and they hand you the camera."
"[Riding a saddled turtle] BATTLE TORTOISE, GOOOO!! [turtle just goes normal speed for turtles] Aww man."
"When Yuri Gagarin was a kid, he dreamt to be the first one in outer space ... ... but some bitches beat him to it."
"Q: What do you call a blonde holding a balloon? A: Siamese twins."
"Hey girl... Is your ph above 7? Cuz you're basic as fuck"
"When my boss is in town, I set out pictures of kids on my desk. They aren't my kids but he'd never fire a Mom of seven, right?"
"Beauty & the Beast 2 is just 90 minutes of Belle and the prince shopping for new furniture after it all turned back into people."
"My Grandma's church was odd in that they worshipped paintings. Very weird. Every week they would stand up and sing ""How Great Thou Art"""
"What does 80 year old pussy smell like? Depends"